Things I learned

First thing I learned today...
was to NOT make the nice nurse taking your blood laugh!

I walk into the laboratory, show my card, and the nurse takes me to the back....
first off, I guess you should know....
Im deathly afraid of needles...
I mean, I have nightmares about these things....

so....
she takes me to the back, past the big rack of needles/tubes/supplies
I fight the urge to run, swinging my arms at anybody who is silly enough to get in my way...
so I ever so slowly walk towards her space...
she looks at me, smiles and says, its OK, sit down here, Im gonna get the paper work and Ill brb...
so Im there, looking around, waiting, fearing the worst....
she comes back, with a LONG list of stickers...
I guess I must have had a look of shock on my face because she asked if I was alrgiht, I said yes, I just hate needles....
she says "dont worry, Im a pro at this, it wont hurt a bit"

see...what people dont understand, is I have a HUGE fear of needles, and I got a HUGE imagination...
so, while I may not feel pain, my brain thinks I do...

but anyways...
she goes and pulls out 4 vials to take blood from...
I look at them, as she is getting the needle ready and I say "Those are huge"
she laughs a little and says "Not really, its actually less than an ounce"

then she proceeds to tie that ribbon on my arm to slow down blood flow...
she starts to press here and there, and then says "Aha, there you are, this one is prime"
and I cringe and think of a supermarket...

"now all I have to do is make sure you dont feel the needle.....unless you start to swear at me"
I say "if Im at the point of swearing, just knock me out"
she laughs and has to stop
"Never heard it quite that way before"
"well, I told work that I had blood work to do, so they know If Im late, being unconcious is of no concequence right now"
she laughs again

she goes to poke me again after calming down
I feel a poke, them movement...then a "hrrmmmm"
"Close your fist"
......
"OK, now tighten"
......
"I dont know whats wrong, nothing is comming out, I can feel it, but you have no blood comming out...wierd"
"Maybe the blood is scared" I say
she laughs "lets try the other arm, Im so sorry, we will have better luck with the other arm"

So, she goes through the same procedures on my other arm
me, having a mild heart attack because this will be, in a matter of minutes, the second needle I get...
so she pokes, and squeels, "yes"
just then, another nurse walks around the corner...looks around...and then says "Whats your name"
"Joe Iachetta" I say
"hhmm...." and she walks away
I look at my nurse (being careful not to look at the needle)
and says, "Jeez, that was easy, ask another question, I wanna win a prize"
she pauses, looks at me for a brief second, then bursts out laughing, I mean hard core laughing
trying not to shake a needle that is in my arm, moving, jittering, and me, in shock and pain, becuase I didnt think it was that funny...
then she goes between laughs "Guess what you win"
and I look and say "Another needle"
and she laughs again...

it was a very disturbing, mixed up experience
we ended up chattinga bit more while she made sure I wasnt bleeding to profusely
and then I got up to leave
she siad thanks for brightening her day and being to good, I said no problem
and she appologized yet again for the 2 needles...

now Im at work, with a pain in both arms, reliving the tale of comedic dread

thats all Ig otta say