Yup..Yup...I am Dieing...

So, I had a doctors apt today...
and..well....
its not good....

Good news is...I DO NOT have diabetes...
WOOHOO...
no diabetes, awesome news!

Bad news is...
Im still at risk, and always will be...
plus, I have high Cholesterol
and not the good cholesterol, the bad kind
the kind that rapes your mother and kills your father for looking at it wrong
the kind that punches babies, and flips off puppies!
the kind that kicks your ass for looking in the same general direction of thier wife...

so...now I gotta get rid of this...
not good, now it got so high, no one knows
but, I gotta start something, or its heart attack and/or death
as my doctor to eloquently put it

so
thats it
now to spend some good ol' work time researching how to lower the bad and increase the good

World of Warcraft Rocks!

I think Im dieing

Im falling apart. It kinda sucks

Ive been having this pain in my back and neck for about a week now
and it, it seems to be getting better, but not at the speed that Im used too

and now, just now, I sneezed..and after I sneezed, my chest really hurt
this doesnt seem good
no sir, it doesnt
maybe I should see my doctor about that....
by the time I get an appointment tho...Ill probably be dead...

funniest thing Ive read about l33t - New l33t handle

This is a copy/paste from http://www.anothersite.co.uk/

Ok, so you know you need a 733t new handle, but how do you tell if you are a sL4y3Rz, dEathQU33n or p0iSoN-r4t-aN4l-L0vE-B3ast?

Here are a few tips on choosing that right name for you…

1. It has to be something manly and awe-inspiring. Even if you are the Internet equivalent of Elton John’s bitch. Think violence, and think big. Rosie O’Donnell big.

2. Always capitalise random letters in the handle so as people think your Caps Lock key is stuck. Or you have learning difficulties. Or both. Or you’re just a prick. Or all three.

3. It should be all one word, even if it isn’t just one word. Confused? Consider the handle SirD0nGleK0nG. In that example, three words have merged to become one and that makes it 733t and adds three inches to your ePenis. It also confirms to everyone that you have a deep illness of the head.

4. The path to obtain spiritual 733tness calls for certain letter to be replaced by certain numbers. For example, an “a” becomes a “4” and a “z” becomes “Beverly Hills 90210” or something. The origins of this requirement are unknown, but it is probably something to do with glue sniffing, or someone got their Num Lock key stuck after enjoying the darker side of the Internet a little too close to their keyboard.

5. Most importantly of all, don’t include any of your real name in your handle. If, for example, your name is Jeremiah, don’t make your handle “t0x1c_JeRem14h” or anything that has even the slightest hint towards your stupid real name. There is no point in a handle if people know it is you. The whole point is to hide who you are in real life, because in real life you suck worse than a telemarketer who’s inhaled one of the shitty vacuum cleaners they’re trying to sell.


So...with that in mind, what should my l33t name be?
any ideas?

Things I learned

First thing I learned today...
was to NOT make the nice nurse taking your blood laugh!

I walk into the laboratory, show my card, and the nurse takes me to the back....
first off, I guess you should know....
Im deathly afraid of needles...
I mean, I have nightmares about these things....

so....
she takes me to the back, past the big rack of needles/tubes/supplies
I fight the urge to run, swinging my arms at anybody who is silly enough to get in my way...
so I ever so slowly walk towards her space...
she looks at me, smiles and says, its OK, sit down here, Im gonna get the paper work and Ill brb...
so Im there, looking around, waiting, fearing the worst....
she comes back, with a LONG list of stickers...
I guess I must have had a look of shock on my face because she asked if I was alrgiht, I said yes, I just hate needles....
she says "dont worry, Im a pro at this, it wont hurt a bit"

see...what people dont understand, is I have a HUGE fear of needles, and I got a HUGE imagination...
so, while I may not feel pain, my brain thinks I do...

but anyways...
she goes and pulls out 4 vials to take blood from...
I look at them, as she is getting the needle ready and I say "Those are huge"
she laughs a little and says "Not really, its actually less than an ounce"

then she proceeds to tie that ribbon on my arm to slow down blood flow...
she starts to press here and there, and then says "Aha, there you are, this one is prime"
and I cringe and think of a supermarket...

"now all I have to do is make sure you dont feel the needle.....unless you start to swear at me"
I say "if Im at the point of swearing, just knock me out"
she laughs and has to stop
"Never heard it quite that way before"
"well, I told work that I had blood work to do, so they know If Im late, being unconcious is of no concequence right now"
she laughs again

she goes to poke me again after calming down
I feel a poke, them movement...then a "hrrmmmm"
"Close your fist"
......
"OK, now tighten"
......
"I dont know whats wrong, nothing is comming out, I can feel it, but you have no blood comming out...wierd"
"Maybe the blood is scared" I say
she laughs "lets try the other arm, Im so sorry, we will have better luck with the other arm"

So, she goes through the same procedures on my other arm
me, having a mild heart attack because this will be, in a matter of minutes, the second needle I get...
so she pokes, and squeels, "yes"
just then, another nurse walks around the corner...looks around...and then says "Whats your name"
"Joe Iachetta" I say
"hhmm...." and she walks away
I look at my nurse (being careful not to look at the needle)
and says, "Jeez, that was easy, ask another question, I wanna win a prize"
she pauses, looks at me for a brief second, then bursts out laughing, I mean hard core laughing
trying not to shake a needle that is in my arm, moving, jittering, and me, in shock and pain, becuase I didnt think it was that funny...
then she goes between laughs "Guess what you win"
and I look and say "Another needle"
and she laughs again...

it was a very disturbing, mixed up experience
we ended up chattinga bit more while she made sure I wasnt bleeding to profusely
and then I got up to leave
she siad thanks for brightening her day and being to good, I said no problem
and she appologized yet again for the 2 needles...

now Im at work, with a pain in both arms, reliving the tale of comedic dread

thats all Ig otta say

A 4 letter word for Snatch....

So im chatting with my cousin through MSN...
she is a cool girl, younger, cute, but a little messed up with her priorites, but its her life
and I wont and dont interfere...she is great, despite our differences in certain things..
so we are chatting, talking about girls, guys, potential boyfriends, potential girlfriends, and ex's
when, all of a sudden, after I come back from lunch, and we are not really chatting as much
she askes me what a 4 letter word for snatch is...
well...
my first thought, of course, being me, was GRAB
then I thought TAKE...
then my other self said the C word
I wont mention it here, because women tend to hate that word, and since I love women so much, I wont make women hate me.

She automatically assumed I would say something dirty...because..well...most women think that I would (I must have a rep or something)

comming from a group of friends that make you second guess everything you are going to say does wonder for the intellect. Take Scott for example, he loves taking my words and making something bad, or sexual with it, and I laugh, because he sees things in such a different way...
then there are times that Im just plain dumb, and get caught saying things that...well...would normally not come out of my mouth...
for example....Deeznuts
who on earth names thier character Deeznuts...
well, Scott does, then he laughs when I say. "aawwss....Deeznuts is great, dont get rid of him"
or something along those lines....

So...now Im level 16 in WoW
I think Im actually gonna buy the game and sign up for a while, just because I like it so much
its about 10290odfjskldur83290587r90gsioghj4358403r09 times better then everquest ever was...
and its really fun too!

I suggest you all get it!

that is all

go back to your day now....

The weekend...according to Joe

So...
this weekend went by rather quickly
but, overall, it went well!!

Things I accomplished
- finished HALO 2
- Put in a new CD Player into my Car
- Got to level 15 in World of Warcraft online Beta

Things I SHOULD have accomplished
- finish building the dog house
- sleep
- not having a sore back

I woke up today
and I could hardly breath
I pushed back my panic to try and logically figure out what was wrong....
well...I figured it out
I have a spot on the middle of my back, that, only seems to hurt when I inhale, or exhale
but, that split second when Im doing niether, its OK

it hurts alot
and I cant crack it
and I dont know what to do to make it feel better
This has never happened before, and now, I feel like Im gonna cry because it hurts
even sitting doesnt help which I was hoping it would!

so, Im thinking, I need a hot, naked woman to massage my back and take out hte kink or whatever it is...AND a naked, hot, young Chiropractor to snap my back into place
that would be lovely
so lovely in fact, that if I was a millionairre, I would make it happen!
and I would get one for a few choice friends too!!

So, this place in town, where I get some diet suppliments and stuff
and this really hot girl, who, lets just say, is stacked, is wearing a t-shirt that says, in bold white letters "Talk Nerdy to me"
I laughed, and apparnetly, she likes nerds. I was amazed, If I didnt know her kid (who I worked witha while back) I would totally be macking it up with her
I didnt think Hot girls with Hot bodies actually liked nerds, but apparently, she is a hard core nerd!

will wonders never cease!!!

Way into a video game

So, Imagine....
its about 10 oclock at night,
your all alone in your room.
You are laying on your bed, playing HALO in which you have had your butt handed to you about 3 times so far from evil enemy flood who come out of nowhere and attack you.
The only light on in the room is the erie darkish glow from the T.V.
everything else but the game is about a million miles away
"Im gonna make it this time" you say to yourself, "Im gonna kick the floods ass, and enjoy it"
then, suddenly, as quick as a though, a flood jumps down from nowhere and slashes you, your shields are half down, you are ducking and jumping out of the way, another one of his friends join you, DAMN you think, I need a shotgun, I need to find a shotgun, I cant take them down quick enough otherwise.....
you dodge left as a 3rd comes at you shooting a pistol....
crap......
suddenly, your leg starts to spasm in a wierd way...
WHAT THE F$^K you think to yourself as you jump...what just happened?
crap, shields are down to a bare minimum, that distraction cost you....
THERE...THERE IS A SHOTGUN, you pick it up, and turn to face the big brute that just whipped you with its tenticles.....
BUZZZZZZZZZZ
there it is again...WHAT THE F$#K is that?
then you remember, you have a cell phone in your side pants pocket, the one that is located right above your knee, and you are laying down, so the pants are pressed tight around your leg becuase of all the shifting you do while playing....
You die, because of another distraction....

You look at the message, its from Travis...a good friend who moved to Florida with his babe of a wife....
You go online, to say Hi, and chat...
then, thinking, since you just died... again...this is a good time to take a break from HALO2 and have a game of Solitare showdown.
You are denied that little pleasure, because, even though he is married, and lives in Florida, and has a full time job as a web programmer, and goes to school at the same time, plus, has enough time to enjoy a game or 2 of HALO with his buddy from Thunder Bay...he hasnt broken the habit of doing his school work the night before it is due....

so...you take a swig of water, go pee, then prepare for the most difficult challenge you have...getting past that stupid level and destroying as many of the flood as you can!!!

Do you succeed?
Do you do what simple men just cannot do?
YES, you do!!!
and WHY you ask...

because you are ME, Joe, the tenatious, goodlooking, powerhouse of a man.
You actually succeed to about 2 levels after, wondering, HOW LONG IS THIS GAME...
and loving the fact that...it just doesnt end, because greatness like HALO2, shouldnt end...

My New Blog

Hi All

So...you found my place, thats cool!

My friend Travis set up his blog on this space, and the only way to comment on his blog is to register...so, I registered, YAY!!!

Here I am, just to spout out random and crazy stuff.
it kills time, and, just because I can, write crazy stuff that happens in my life!

so, enjoy

Joe